That day at the hospital when the nurse handed him his newly first born child to hold for the first time. "What had happened? Where did everything go wrong? Why am I here now? Where did those moments go?"Other moments flooded his mind, their first date, him having just returned from service, she just barely out of highschool and starting her first job. Then that one day he took her fishing, and they ended up swimming naked in the cold waters of that rocky creek, their first time as lovers. "Was there something I could do, could have done, should do, should have done? Should I just accept and hold on to whatever's left? Is that enough? Can there be moments like those in the future, after all that's happened? If I don't give into her, and do divorce her, am I destroying the possibility of them ever happening? Where will I go from here? What future can I have? Do I want that future, or is it better to just accept?"Reaching for the phone, his thoughts were, "Whatever happens, whatever. ‘I’ve got no right to expect him not to see anyone else anyway! I was the one who made him promise it wouldn’t change anything—that we’d still just be friends. It’s not like we’re actually together—we’re not in a relationship. We’re not even pr-pretending to be an item…’ I let the words trail away to a whisper, a fresh wave of tears threatening to engulf me. ‘I don’t understand.’ Alice sounded bemused. ‘You slept with my nephew but you’re not…? You’re not in a relationship?’ ‘Never mind that.’ Roxy dropped on her knees in front of me and dragged my hands from my face. ‘Does he know?’ ‘Know what?’ I said bleakly. ‘Know that I read his text messages from Angie? Know that I’m insanely jealous? Know that I’m madly in love with him? Know that I’m going to Italy ‘cos I’m positive he doesn’t feel the same way about me and I’d rather not make a complete idiot of myself?’ I flinched in self-disgust. ‘No.’ ‘Sam. You haven’t told him?’ There was an uncharacteristic note of compassion in Alice’s.
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